The Interview, a play in a single scene

DRAMATIS PERSONAE

Interviewer

Applicant

Secretary

A nicely appointed corner business office. Through an open window, the sun reflects off of snow covered office buildings. A man sits behind a large wooden desk, typing on a computer. There is a knock at the door.

Interviewer (looking up): Enter!

(The secretary enters, escorting the Applicant who is a young man with fine muscle tremors which increase as the interview progresses. He carries a brief case)

Secretary: Your American guest is here. (Indicates the Applicant.)

Interviewer: (rising and smiling, he walks around his desk and extends his hand which the Applicant shakes): Ah! Very Good! Welcome to my country. Your flight, it was good?

Interviewer: (Looks at Secretary and makes shooing gesture) That will be all. (Secretary exits)

Interviewer: (Gestures toward a small wooden table with two large and comfortable looking leather chairs. A bottle of vodka and two glasses are on the table) We do interview in comfort, yes? Sit, sit my friend.

(Both sit at the table)

Applicant (earnestly): Thank you for seeing me.

Interviewer: Of course, of course. We are look for person with right qualifications for job, yes? That is why interview. You have resume?

Applicant (opens briefcase and pulls out a one page resume which he slides across the table so his trembling hands don’t drop it): Yes. Here you are.

Interviewer (making a pretense of reading the single page): Hmm. Good. Good. Da.

Interviewer (placing resume back on the table): Very good. You have all qualifications! (Holds up fingers as he lists qualifications) You have famous last name. You have no experience or knowledge of industry. You are crackhead with taste in underage girls. Congratulations! You are hired as “consultant.” We pay you many dollars. Welcome to company! Now, we drink vodka! Afterward, you go smoke that crap you put in body! (Pauses) Also, need you to arrange meeting and photo op with dad…

(Fade to black)