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Damn. Now set readiness condition dog zebra.

The Interview, a play in a single scene





A nicely appointed corner business office. Through an open window, the sun reflects off of snow covered office buildings. A man sits behind a large wooden desk, typing on a computer. There is a knock at the door.

Interviewer (looking up): Enter!

(The secretary enters, escorting the Applicant who is a young man with fine muscle tremors which increase as the interview progresses. He carries a brief case)

Secretary: Your American guest is here. (Indicates the Applicant.)

Interviewer: (rising and smiling, he walks around his desk and extends his hand which the Applicant shakes): Ah! Very Good! Welcome to my country. Your flight, it was good?

Interviewer: (Looks at Secretary and makes shooing gesture) That will be all. (Secretary exits)

Interviewer: (Gestures toward a small wooden table with two large and comfortable looking leather chairs. A bottle of vodka and two glasses are on the table) We do interview in comfort, yes? Sit, sit my friend.

(Both sit at the table)

Applicant (earnestly): Thank you for seeing me.

Interviewer: Of course, of course. We are look for person with right qualifications for job, yes? That is why interview. You have resume?

Applicant (opens briefcase and pulls out a one page resume which he slides across the table so his trembling hands don’t drop it): Yes. Here you are.

Interviewer (making a pretense of reading the single page): Hmm. Good. Good. Da.

Interviewer (placing resume back on the table): Very good. You have all qualifications! (Holds up fingers as he lists qualifications) You have famous last name. You have no experience or knowledge of industry. You are crackhead with taste in underage girls. Congratulations! You are hired as “consultant.” We pay you many dollars. Welcome to company! Now, we drink vodka! Afterward, you go smoke that crap you put in body! (Pauses) Also, need you to arrange meeting and photo op with dad…

(Fade to black)

Some perspective

seems to be in order

Yesterday, I wrote a post in which I vented my spleen in a way I seldom do. As a sort of self-therapy, I thought it might be helpful to focus on some things far too easily ignored or forgotten (at least by me).

Today, in the US, most of us will never face any truly existential (a currently popular word) threats, with two exceptions. First, of course, is old age. For the vast and overwhelming majority of us that will be unavoidable. Think about that for a moment. Most of us will get sick and die simply because we’re old. Second, some people will also face one or more things that some have termed “blip events.” A blip event might be an unexpected and dangerous disease, a car wreck, house fire or something else. But that’s it.

Instincts and behaviors that were developed and honed on the savannahs of Africa will seldom be called into play in a way that is needed. The instincts, though, remain, including the whole pattern recognition thing. This one is so strong that if there are no patterns to be found, or nothing that deviates sufficiently, we will find something. We’re driven to do that and unless we set out deliberately to control that instinct, we will obey that drive, that instinct. Thus, if there is no movement in the tall grass to alert us to the approach of a predator, we will find something else about which to be alarmed. What this means, I submit, is that most of the time the “exercise” of that instinct is effectively a luxury. I can worry about the way my boss treats me because I don’t have to worry about becoming food for the nearest critter with big, razor-sharp teeth and claws. You can complain about your HOA because you don’t have to light a fire in the cave mouth to keep animals away. And concern about modern politics? Now that’s a luxury. Mind you, I have concerns about politics, but I recognize those for the non-existential luxuries they are.

You see, because of our pattern recognition instincts, we are always looking for the threat. And, if we look long enough and hard enough, we’ll find either a threat or a “reasonable facsimile thereof.” If we aren’t careful, we’ll overlook something important. For most of us, regardless of race, gender, ethnicity, religion or what-have-you, this is the best time in the history of the world to be alive in terms of freedom, peace, crime, health, wealth and equality. It’s easy to forget that, though, because of the instincts. As if that weren’t enough of a challenge, we are faced with people of various ideologies who will take advantage of our instincts. If we can’t find a pattern which indicates a threat, they will happily provide one for us. In so doing, they seek to manipulate us into becoming their puppets, increasing their power and leaving us less able to enjoy being alive in such a time. If you can stomach it, listen into almost any adversarial political discussion and pay attention to how much the partisans differ in the threats they see coming. Now, one or more of those may be relative threats, but they are almost certainly not the existential threats which necessitated our instincts.

“What should we do then, smart guy?” I’m glad you asked.

Unplug for a bit. A day or so is nice. A week is better, if you can do it. Get to know people and interact with them. Family and friends are a good place to start. Talk to them. Even better, listen when they talk. Talk about things that really matter. Talk about lighthearted stuff. Read a book. Paint. Write. Go for a walk or drive. Sit on your patio at the end of the day and smoke a bowl of good pipe tobacco while sipping some smoky, amber-colored liquid. Hell, don’t read that RM guy’s blog for a bit (but do come back!). But start with people.

Now, I think I’ll take my own advice and unplug for a bit.

In which I rant

I’m not a fan of FecesBook, though I still use it. I do, however, look forward to the regular live sessions with Old NFO and Lawdog. Today, I missed it. See, I have a friend named Angel who did a Bad Thing on social media. It was an act so vile, so heinous, so unspeakably disgusting as to earn Angel the less-than-gentle attentions of a member-in-good-standing of the Church of the Perpetually Woke. And what was this horrific act perpetrated by my friend? I shall tell you. Before I do, I urge you to take a moment to settle your nerves and your stomach. Ensure children are unable to see what follows. It’s just too stomach-churning for the young.

You see, Angel, in part because of some ugliness in the past, dared to opine that she would prefer Donald Trump be re-elected than Joe Biden become POTUS. She put it something like this: “I’d rather lose my rights than have a child touched by an adult.” As it turns out, intersectionality only provides so much protection. Even being part of the LGBT community* was not enough to shield her from one of the Church Inquisitors. Nope. My friend had committed the Original Sin. She dared to even hint at disagreement with Delivered Truth (“we are good and all others are bad”). The charming little bint who attacked her was a royal… *RM pauses, remembering his parents’ response to his use of profanity* not nice female person. She tried to disguise her personal attack on my friend as some sort of reasoned response.

Enter me.

I have been told I am not a very smart man. I am certainly not the world’s greatest debater. What I am is a person whose military career in the sea services included time in deck force. If necessity calls for being an enormous ass**** to counter someone else, I can do that. Conversation successfully nuked.

The point of the above is that

  1. No one is required to agree with anything you post. This includes things posted by people like my friend
  2. It’s okay to disagree
  3. Playing fair is important
  4. If you can’t play fair and disagree like an adult, you know, politely and still strongly, don’t whine when someone is able to be a bigger ass**** than you
  5. Don’t suddenly claim special status (“grown man picking on college student” for instance) when you’re being clubbed into bloody submission
  6. The Church of the Perpetually Woke are dicassnot nice…aw, fuck it. They are fucking assholes who need their asses verbally kicked up around their ears.

This rant is hereby concluded.

*And yes, my friend’s sexuality is pertinent. It made her commission of the new Original Sin even more intolerable to her Inquisitor, I submit. Don’t pick on my friends. Fucking assholes.


Civic responsibility? Of course. Opportunity to make your wishes known? Yes, though “known” must be differentiated from “followed.”

Yesterday Mrs. RM and I took advantage of early voting to achieve both of the above. Since I am no longer both (or either) active duty and stationed in Great Lakes, I was not encouraged to “vote early, vote often,” even as a joke. I simply voted. Regardless of your political beliefs, I encourage you to vote. Participate in the process. Please. Just vote.


Sitting at the computer, writing and eating cold, homemade kimchi for breakfast. Not too shabby, but needs more garlic and maybe a little less daikon, next time. Tea…I need a cup of tea…

Daryl Dixon, I am not

When I first started deer hunting with a crossbow, a few years back, a number of experienced bow hunters told me it wasn’t at all unusual for a person new to bows, including crossbows, to go several years before actually killing a deer, even if he or she was an otherwise experienced hunter. “Nonsense,” I thought. “After all, I’m a relatively experienced hunter. Plus, I’ll be using a crossbow rather than a vertical bow. A crossbow with a scope no less. It’ll be just like hunting deer with a rifle, but at closer ranges.”

Yeah. Right.

Arrows, as it turns out, can do strange and wonderful things. Yes, they are strongly affected by wind. My favorite thing they can do, though, is that they can unexpectedly lift…or drop…while in flight. And there is no “follow-up” shot with a crossbow. As I have been reminded more than once, the deer is a professional and I am, at my very best, a gifted amateur. With a bow, I am not even that. Deer 3 RM 0.

I’d be toast if I had to defend against zombies with a crossbow.

It’s a good thing rifle season starts in a few weeks. Venison is getting low in the freezer.

He doesn’t qualify

as a dictator, but he was, from my perspective, a bad man. So, it seemed appropriate to include something.

Poor choices

RM’s post-debate observation, the first

Having to choose between a geriatric asshole and a geriatric dementia patient for president seems like having to choose between chlamydia and gonorrhea. No reasonable person wants either one and the realization that one or the other is going to be inflicted on you should piss you off.

RM’s post-debate observation, the second

Apropos to the above, I frankly despise both Republicans and Democrats as species. Currently, I just happen to despise Democrats more.

RM’s post-debate observation, the third

Loudly proclaiming that your guy “clearly won” suggests you and I did not watch the same debate…or that you are a moron…or both.

RM’s post-debate observation, the fourth

Asserting that your guy “wants what’s best for me/you/the people/all of us” ignores the fact that your guy, whoever that might be, doesn’t know anything about you, including the fact that you, as an individual, even exist.

RM’s post-debate observation, summation

Be annoying

I have long been a fan of Colion Noir. His approach to an unapologetic defense of the right to keep and bear arms has always been refreshing. That remains true in this video:

I agree with him. We cannot shrink back from our defense of a fundamental right, for surely those who are opposed to that right (often under the name of “common sense restrictions”) will neither shrink back nor cease their assault. We must continue to be annoying, if we love liberty.

Of course, not shrinking back should be our approach to all our rights*. There will always be those for whom individual liberty is an easy-to-compromise thing. They will insist time and again that individual rights are “important” while also insisting they carry water for social utility, and they will never stop. We, then, dare not cease in our defense of liberty. Again, those who love liberty must continue to be annoying. Like Malcolm Reynolds, we must “aim to misbehave,” and do so both legally and aggressively lest we one day be forced to do otherwise.

*Understand that when I refer here to rights, I am speaking of inviolable negative rights, those rights with which government is prohibited to interfere and which inhere in the human condition.